(This article has been contributed by Pirate Padmavathi.)
Almost andari Telugu pillala life lo important decisions annitilonuu oka amma, oka nana matrame kakunda, forever free advice istu, background music laga perpetual screen presence evaro oka uncle kuda involve ayyi untaru. Menamama nunchi pakkinti abbai valla baabai varaku andaru ee large group lo scope unna valey. Here are some common types of Telugu uncles.
1. Paddati Uncle: Just the woresht. Bottu chinna ga untam, phone lo text cheyatam, jeans vesukovatam, koddiga gattiga navvatam - asala eeyana mundu emi chesina thappey. Eeyana tho oka half an hour spend cheystey chalu, eppudu leni kotta kotta objections anni daddy la ki ocheystai. Oka pilla 2nd standard pass ayinappudu nunchi eeyana sambandhalu vetikestu unataru.
2. Awkward Small Talk Uncle: These are uncles who actually care for you (mostly because they love your parents. There is nothing particularly amazing about you to love you). They want to have some sort of friendship with you and will go out of their way to help whenever you need them. Except that you have nothing in common to talk about. So almost all social encounters are about awkward small talk and unnecessary wide smiles. “College ela undi ra?” “Baney undi uncle. Miru ela unnaru?” “Baney unna ra.” *followed by looong awkward silence while you try to recollect any specific health issue they/their family members had*
3. Over-affectionate Uncle: This is awkward uncle except for the awkward part. They try sooooo hard and make everything so much more worse. They have an undying need to pat your head or rub your shoulder to show support.
4. NRI Uncle: Veella ammai Americalo, abbai Australia lono settle ayyi untaru. Kudirinapudu ala valani visit chesi, foreign country gurinchi ye detailu marichipokunda manaki cheptaru. “Asala akkada ietey ela undi andi. Anta *insert description of anything foreign from scented garbage bags to presidential elections*”. Mari koni extreme cases lo aithe ee uncles only English lo reply cheystaru.
5. Facebook Uncle: No. Just no asala. Mana kharma kaali evaro okalu eenaki oka Facebook account create chesi pedtaru. Eeyana ekkada aggakunda telisina prati okallaki, valla pillaliki friend request pampichestu unnaru. Accept cheyakapothey malli adugutaru kuda. Accept cheysina tarvata nunchi every post ni like cheyatam, malli kallisinappudu dani discuss cheyatam.. asala just no. I don’t want to deal with this over-enthusiasm. This is atrocious. This is just barbarious andi asala.
6. Connections Uncle: Nuvu world map lo ee place ki ellina, ee job cheysina, ee restaurant lo tinna, ee cinema chusina, danitho connect ayyi telisina vallu evaro okalu unataru ieyanaki. Every conversation includes a sentence of “Manaki baga telisina kurodu unnadu andi akkadey..”. Veellu edo manalni pedda uddarinchesthunnatte!
7. Ideal Children Uncle: Asala ieyana chepina dani parakaram villa pillalu ee serial/cinema lo no main role cheyali. Ieyanaki unna anta ideal children evariki unndaru. “Asala ma ammaiki first rank tappitey radu ga. Try cheysina radu” “Nenu ma vadiki cheptuney unnta, velli friends tho enjoy cheyara appudu appudu iena anni, asala velladu ga” “Asala ma vadu microsoft nunchi resign cheysta antey aa Satya Nadella oddu anni, boruna edcheysaru andi”. Please. Uncle. Mi pillaliki Facebooklu unnai, valluu check-inlu cheystu nntaru. We know the real story okay?
8. Minimum Contact Uncle: “Daddy unnara amma?” “Aa unnaru uncle. Kurchondi, pilusta. Manchi nillu tagutara uncle” “Aa alagey ama”. End of conversation. Katey, kotey, techey. These are uncles who respect generation gap and realize that we have other important things to do – like playing Temple Run or checking FB every five nano seconds. Perfecto.
9. Cool Mama: A species that is often heard of but rarely seen. They are the uncles who convince your parents that whatever you are doing is no big deal. They often abet your crimes and always cover up for you. Like I said, rarely seen.
10. Non-smiling Uncle: It's bad enough he has to put up with what his own kids do/say and he doesn’t want to deal with anything more. And you know it. Because he shows it by never ever ever smiling. Surprisingly you don’t even feel like it's rude. So much better than Facebook uncle or Paddati uncle.
11. Dassara Bullodu Uncle: Ee uncle ki sudden ga mid-life lo youth ochestadi. Ieyana tana sonta shirts esukuntunaro, valla abbai shirts esukuntunaro baga confusing ga untadi. Most common symptoms include ray ban glasses, logo baga kanipinchey branded shirts and a red car. Uncle, sometimes I don’t have enough self-confidence to pull off coloured jeans, please miru avvi koda vesukovatam modala petodu.
6. Connections Uncle: Nuvu world map lo ee place ki ellina, ee job cheysina, ee restaurant lo tinna, ee cinema chusina, danitho connect ayyi telisina vallu evaro okalu unataru ieyanaki. Every conversation includes a sentence of “Manaki baga telisina kurodu unnadu andi akkadey..”. Veellu edo manalni pedda uddarinchesthunnatte!
7. Ideal Children Uncle: Asala ieyana chepina dani parakaram villa pillalu ee serial/cinema lo no main role cheyali. Ieyanaki unna anta ideal children evariki unndaru. “Asala ma ammaiki first rank tappitey radu ga. Try cheysina radu” “Nenu ma vadiki cheptuney unnta, velli friends tho enjoy cheyara appudu appudu iena anni, asala velladu ga” “Asala ma vadu microsoft nunchi resign cheysta antey aa Satya Nadella oddu anni, boruna edcheysaru andi”. Please. Uncle. Mi pillaliki Facebooklu unnai, valluu check-inlu cheystu nntaru. We know the real story okay?
8. Minimum Contact Uncle: “Daddy unnara amma?” “Aa unnaru uncle. Kurchondi, pilusta. Manchi nillu tagutara uncle” “Aa alagey ama”. End of conversation. Katey, kotey, techey. These are uncles who respect generation gap and realize that we have other important things to do – like playing Temple Run or checking FB every five nano seconds. Perfecto.
9. Cool Mama: A species that is often heard of but rarely seen. They are the uncles who convince your parents that whatever you are doing is no big deal. They often abet your crimes and always cover up for you. Like I said, rarely seen.
10. Non-smiling Uncle: It's bad enough he has to put up with what his own kids do/say and he doesn’t want to deal with anything more. And you know it. Because he shows it by never ever ever smiling. Surprisingly you don’t even feel like it's rude. So much better than Facebook uncle or Paddati uncle.
11. Dassara Bullodu Uncle: Ee uncle ki sudden ga mid-life lo youth ochestadi. Ieyana tana sonta shirts esukuntunaro, valla abbai shirts esukuntunaro baga confusing ga untadi. Most common symptoms include ray ban glasses, logo baga kanipinchey branded shirts and a red car. Uncle, sometimes I don’t have enough self-confidence to pull off coloured jeans, please miru avvi koda vesukovatam modala petodu.
