Each decision a woman takes has a response from all kinds of people around her and that is the reason girls have restrictions and people are more careful about what they choose. A woman’s lifestyle and the choices she make are generally taken in the view of ‘what will people around me say?’. This proved to be true in the case of Actress Renu Desai after her recent interview with a private media house. The 35-year-old has been receiving a lot of flak and hate messages after she expressed her wish to "move on" in life. But just because this has been a tradition does not mean that it is okay to do so. However progressive or mature we want to be as country or even just as a group there is always the a part of the society that pulls the good changes and re-establishes the age old way of being backward. Renu Desai is generally looked upon as a star’s ex wife and not as a separate individual. Regardless of whatever her ex-husband is doing with his personal life, we forget that we do not have a say in her life and whatever she does in her life is not our business. She has the right to take her own decisions in her life. It is generally assumed that girls and women in city are slightly more privileged than women in rural areas but a woman who is as famous as Renu Desai has received so much hate just because she said that she started thinking about a relationship so we can imagine the plight common people like your daughter or neighbour.
Right from the start of our education to marriage, every choice we make receives unnecessary comments from the society. The ‘society’ here can include anyone, it might be your colleagues, neighbours, friends, people whom you know and also people whom you've never seen or met in your life. This cannot be treated as a common issue women face or just random ‘dogs barking’ (as the saying goes) because women have been receiving this hate from the start of time and it’s high time we respond and shout out saying this is wrong and unacceptable. There is inequality in the society that is encouraged by both men and women, both of them are equally responsible for it. We need to start treating woman as independent individuals who are capable of making their own decisions. Even if we are forcing women to do something out of ‘love and care’ it is wrong.
Men and women both face discrimination in certain issues but in matters like these women face a lot of judgement and hate that they don’t deserve. Getting married again is a ‘sensitive’ topic (which it shouldn’t be) and that too a woman expressing her wish to find someone special in her life again receives a lot of lessons on morals and values from people who are not even a part of their lives. In Renu Desai’s issue she just expressed that she is thinking of moving on and having a companion. However, after she opened up about her view on marriage, she has been receiving negative comments from the fans, who have given her the status of 'Vadhina' for being their hero's wife even though they are now divorced. Renu took to her Facebook and posted, “*THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT ME PERSONALLY. It’s my general thought about today’s society and the mindset of men!”. She shared few screenshots of a set of fans abusing and expressing their dissent on Renu's statements about re-marriage.
Renu went on to say, "ilanti comments chadhivinappudu ‘Asalu manam elanti samajam lo, elanti mindset unna magavalla madhya bathukuthunnam?’ ani chala andolanaga anipisthundhi. Oka vaipu, women equality, aadapillala shakti, rapes nunchi security, bhadratha gurinchi matladuthunnam. Inko vaipu, 7 yrs nenu ontarigaa undi, ippudu naaku oka life partner unte bagundu ani just express chesinandhuku, naku ‘hate msgs’ pamputhunnaru. Mana desam lo, oka magaadu emaina cheyachu, enni sarlaina pelli chesukovachu. Kani, oka ammai inko relation gurinchi alochinchadam kuda thappu! Thanu lifelong, thappu chesaananna feeling tho ontarigaa bathakaala??? I pray to God today, I sincerely pray to God today that Ee desam lo ammayila future bagundaalante, mahilale vaalla kodukulanu paddhatiga penchaali. Appudaina magavaalla mindset lo maarpu vasthundhemo..”
So we are not even open and are opposing the thought of a woman thinking of finding someone or getting remarried. So whenever we celebrate female sport stars or movie stars in our country on social media we need to remember that this kind of mindset also exists. The female empowerment should happen from our homes and realising that letting your daughters do something is not empowering anyone but realising that they have the right to choose and end of the day it is their life!
You can read her full post HERE.
