(Article by Sai Charan, an ex-employee of TCS, Hyderabad)
I have had a happy life. Like really happy. Didn’t care about the small problems that were always there. Trips, hang outs, Night outs, parties. No daddy listening amma. After EAMCET I got into a good college in Hyderabad and got placed in TCS later. Ekkada taggaledu. Huge friends circle, hyper-active nature, extracurricular activities… abbooo what not.
But during this New Year’s even the loud DJ couldn’t get me on my toes. I am 23 now. Maybe I need not think too much. But I’ve always had a question that repeated in my mind every day before I sleep. ‘Fine you had an amazing day. Still… what’s your purpose?’
It’s always a fight between ‘Life should not be taken too seriously’ and ‘Do whatever it takes to get what you want.’ I’ve always wanted to do something that would leave a legacy behind. But now… I am scared. Cos I’m resigning from my comfort job and taking over my career with passion. Now it comes to a few questions which piss me off.
Parents: Entra…udyogam manestava? Me: Adi..Nanna… Try chedam ankuntuna. Dad: Bommalu gisi 10 years tarwata entha sampadistav? Me: Umm.. emo.. kani yi job ishtam ledu. Dad: Pelli aina tarwata emaina chesko. Ma bhayam maku untadi. Me: !!@@#@$#@#$@$%
Relative: Enti nayana em chestunav? Me: Samosa tindam ankuntuna. Relative: Abba...Caamedy! TCS anta kada? *Found a guy for that aunty’s daughter* Me: Ah... Quit chestunna. Designing side veltanu. Relative: Enti animation ah? Me: Ante alantide ankondi. Relative: *Match can wait*
Friend: So manestunav anmaata. Me: Ya bro... Friend: So what’s next dude? Me: Hmm... have a few things on my mind bro. Need to try. Friend: Risk anmaata. Job apply chesi resign chesundalsindi. Me: Rey nippu mida kerosene poyaku ra…
Crush: Oh is it? So naku emaina aite… nee deggara job guarantee anmata. Hehehe Me: *Oh my fruit* Hehehehehehe ☺
(If it is a girl in this scenario.)
Girl: I want to become an entrepreneur. I will quit this job. Everyone: Enduku le ma... chakkaga pelli chesko raadu...
I didn’t even know there is a college for design while I wrote EAMCET. I studied ECE and don’t even remember how we measure ohms of resistor looking at the colors. All that we middle class people know is Engineering or Medicine. Can’t blame parents though. The world they saw was different.
Life changed drastically. Roju 12 daka tirige friends tho hangout lo matladadam tappa em cheyalem. Byatchi lo 70 % MS chestunaru. 25% IT jobs. 2% self employment. Inko 3%... vaallake telidu.
The person you love the most might never be encouraging you anymore. The person who called you bestie yesterday might act like a stranger. The best idea you thought would be awesome, might have already been implemented. People will question your confidence. Your strengths become your weakness. Your weakness leaves you with only two choices.
COMPLAIN or RISK.
Naku eppudu challenges ante ishtam. Avi lekunda life ki purpose lenattu anpisthundi. Kani risk chesina ventane andaru nannu question chesaru, “Neekemaina mind dobbinda?” ani. Kani silent ga velli na comfort job ki resignation pettanu. Ipudu ala nannu question chesina vaalle nannu chusi inspire avthonte chala dhairyam vasthundi!
All right. So am I happy now? No, I am scared again. What if I don’t achieve what I have been trying? What if I can’t be creative? What if my ideas are not appreciated? What if I don’t get a good team as I have now? What if I can’t get new friends? What if I have to deal with this alone? What if I fail? What if? What the fuck if????
I can’t sleep. I experience lucid dreaming. And then I watch movies, web series. Read books & articles. Attend meetups. Travel. It works. Really.
Maybe not everyone is successful. But when you are walking through the world you see some people who have risked it all and achieved greatness, you marvel at them.
But what if I don’t achieve greatness like they did? Coming back to the same question... What if I fail?
I will add it to my resume and happily come back to this life. But I am never going to regret not trying it. And if anyone asks me that question again I will turn to them and question back.
“Who do you think you are talking to? A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No, I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS! I AM THE DANGER! *Breaking Bad Theme playing*”
