These Musings Of A Grown Up Girl About Life Is Something Most Of Us Can Relate To


Contributed by Nikitha Karnam

It’s scary; I’m just putting it out in the open. It is really really scary to be graduating and not having a plan that involves concrete figures and dreams. And it is really difficult to ‘adult’ when your brain is not ready to grow beyond 15years and refuses to resume the growth. The final semester before graduation is the point where it exactly hits you that now you need to assume responsibility of your life, not your parents, friends or teachers, it is you who should take decisions right where do you want to work to the most insignificant thing such as buying groceries.

It is not just you who is scared but everyone who loves you and who you care about is also scared with you and knowing this just adds to the burden. The weight of the expectations and reality is enough to bring you down. I am generally a laid back person, who is in denial about the fact that I have to actually grow up. If you are wondering how a 20-year old can think this way, I still call my college or my internship place ‘school’. So you can imagine when it hit me, I freaked out because I did not have a plan, still don’t, I was not sure of where I want to work or what I want to do. It was terribly confused and the feeling of getting lost was always threatening. The uncertainty is terrifying, you slowly realise that now on whenever your shampoo gets over, a new bottle won’t miraculously appear or that there won’t be anyone to serve you food before you even realise that you are hungry.

Not having a plan in such a scary world can be easily listed as my worst fear. But I have recently reached a conclusion where I have made peace with it. I guess it is okay to not have a plan and take future as it comes. Things don’t always work according to the plan and it is alright to deal with it one day and one task at a time. Today you might learn how to fold your sheets and tomorrow you might learn how to fix a tyre. A fixed plan might wear you out of the job. It is okay to make a wrong choice and let it bring you down because you are worth all of that and more. And the definition for a ‘happy future’ is subjective, you do not have to do what all of your classmates or siblings are doing.

I know the confusion is not a nice place for you to be but I think this can be solved only when you are spontaneous and open to trying to new things. I think there is more to life than what meets the eye, what might be the end of the world today might lead to a great opportunity in the future. Your friend might want a house and kids, which might be what happiness means for him or her. But your happiness might be witnessing a beautiful sunset while you are travelling constantly and that is okay. But if you don’t do what you truly want to, your life might end up being incredibly long. It is only human to second guess yourself but you must believe in yourself more than anyone else, in anything you do. Always have varied interests and alternatives even if it extends to ‘Plan Z’. People are starting new careers in their 40s, so I guess we have time and it is never too late to be you. It is not important to do the ‘right thing’, do what you feel is right and when you realise it is wrong, learn from it. It is not going to be easy but hey., so wasn’t mathematics which we still managed to pass. All that matters is you having fun in whatever you are doing!


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