Devuditho Muchatlu: A Fantasy Conversation Of A Software Employee With God

 

Contributed By Dhruva Teja Darla

 

Oka Software engineer gurinchi chepali ante , tanu job join avvaka mundu job join ayyina tarwatha.Oka weekend roju frustration tho elagaina devudi tho mataladi ani fix ayyi tana number kosam google open chesadu.

 

Google lo how to speak with God ani type chesthe, edo oka blog lo devudi mobile ki call chese cheat program dorikindi . Ventane ah program run chesi devudi tho matldadeddam ani fix ayyi program run chesaadu. Ah program raasina vadiki kuda work avvanidi manodiki work ayyindi ade magicuu. Call connect ayyindi and now the conversation begins.

 

PS:Yes devullu ki kuda communication system vndi and they use Apple 115 with AirVodJo mobile network.

 

Scene shifts…somewhere in Swarga lokam…
Devudi mobile ring avthundi, +91 tho number chusi first shock ayyi ayina weekend roju evara call chesindi ani tana Intekkigence tho chusi inka chesedi em leka call lift chesthadu.

 

God: Hellooo!!!!
Frustrated Software Engineer aka Bhakth: Helloo!!!!
God: Heloooo!!!!!!
Bhakth: Helloooo God,Am I audible??
God: Yes you are , pls tell baktha emiti naku call chesav?
Bhakth: Ohh Devudaa, C program lo bugs leka poyina execute cheyaleni nenu , niku call chese program ni successful ga run chesi nanduku chaala happy ga vndi. Employee of year award tiskunantha happy ga vndi. Na sangathi tarwatha nv ela vunav devuda?
God: Nenu bhane vunna bhaktha, ipude financial year ayipoyi konchem deadlines lekunda weekend enjoy chesthunanu nayana, ledu ante epudu on calls ey.
Bhakth: meeku kuda oncalls vuntaya swami?
God: Enduku vundav bhaktha, mi korkelu anni maku incidents laga priority tho ma queue loki vasthu vuntaayi , deadlines ni batti solve chesthu vundadame. Inka festivals apudu ee work pressure inka ekkuva.
Bhakth: Meeru ey technology meeda work chesthaaru swami?
God: Maadi antha Artificial intelligence ey naayana, ayina ni gurinchi chepu ela vundi ni MNC job?
Bhakth: (Crying) Meeku teliyanda swami ee pasivadi kashtalu? Enni sarlu mimmalni vedukunanu na kashtalu teerchamani?
God: Arey edavaku naayana, manchi package vundi kada ani mee nundi vache korikala priority motham epudu low ne vntundi nayana. Ipudu cheppu ni kashtalu emti?
Bhakth: Emani chepamantaru swami na life lo life lekunda poyindi ee job lo join ayyaka.
God: Ala antavu enti bhaktha,manchi salary, weekends parties, high life neeku ee vayasu lo inkem kavali nayana? ( Now in Bommarillu Prakash Raj voice) Niku kavalsina daanikante ekuve ichanu kada inkem kavali , chepara natho friendly ga vundara.

 

Bhakth: (Now in Siddarth voice, yes enti apude devudi paina frustration ha ante , yes we are always frustrated) Motham meere chesaaru, motham meere chesaaru. Avunu swami MNC lo job ichaanu veedu happy ey anukuntaru miru kani ah job lo vunde deadlines tho nidra povatledu swami. Ma manager year motham kashtapadina last review time ki u can still do better antunte , em cheyalo telitledu swami. Avnu weekend parties ki velthaanu, akada nenu edo marchipoyi enjoy cheddam anukunte akkada kuda ma manager incidents gurinchi adugunthe taagaedi kuda ekkatledu swami. Ayina ipatiki nenu ade job chesthunanu swami. Intha chesthunte potta batta raava swami, maa intlo emo pelli chesko antunte, ee potta batta chusi bayata navvuthunaru swami uncles ani.

 

After some awkward silence
God: Chepachu kadara natho nuv innni kashtalu paduthunav ani, nuvvu happy ga vunnav anukuna ra innalu. Teliledu ra naku meeku MNC lo job ichesanu manchi package vundi anukunna kani inni kashtalu padthunnav ani naku telidu ra.
(Ayipoyindi Bommarillu modulation)
Bhakth: Em chepamantaru swami na adrushtam bhagundi edo weekend roju miku call kalsindi kasni , ledu ante B.com lo physics vundi anedi entha nijamo ma life lo happiness vundi anedi kuda anthe nijam swami.

 


Tana Bhakthudu pade kashtaslu chusi karigipoyina devudu, em kavalo korukomantadu.
Asale MNC lo job ki bhaaga alavatu padipoyina bhaktudu, tana telivi vaadi ela ayina bugs leni program la pani chesi wishes korukundam ani fix avthadu

 

Bhakth: Swami, naku oka mudu korikalu vunnayi avi teeristhe chaalu.
God: Ohh kevalam mudena, chepu nayana naku weekend ayina parledu priority penchi mari work chesthaanu.
Bhakth: Sare Swami ive na mudu korikalu
1.Give me 1 billion dollars.
2.Grant me at least 70 years of life.
3.Grant me another three wishes.

 

God: Chamatkaarive, Kani mi project laage ivi fixed budget nayana. Nuv adiginavi anni ivadam kudaradu.
Bhakth: Meeru kuda ma HR laaga, review time lo rating ivvadaniki badhapade manager la chesthunaru enti swami.
God: EM chestham baktha, idi software prapancham anthe.
Bhakth: Swamii!!!!
God: Nuv adigina dantlo okate ivvagalanu bhaktha. Edo okate koriko.
Bhakth: Sare swami ivi anni kaadu kani, nenu ipatiki ipudu manager ayyi naku evaru manager lekunda cheyi swami.

 

God: (Sarcastically Laughs) Sare Bhaktha, nuvvu adiginatte chesthanu.Pls give me few mins.
Epudooo Software company lo join ayinapudu life set ayipoyindi ani happy ga feel ayyina twarata mana software engineer ipude malli happy ga feel avvadam. Inthalo call madhayalo beep beep ani sound. After few secs..
God: Sorry Bhaktha, maa manger call chesadu, ventane P1 incident vachindi anta, I have to jump onto that. Ni incident malli epudu ayina solve chedam. Byeee.
Bhakth: Swamiiiiii!!!!!!!!!
Malli Devudiki call chesdam ante isari ah program lo bugs vachayi ade magicuu.
Intalo edo mobile ring ayithe nidra lo nundi lechi chusthe, Sunday 10 AM 5 missed call from manager, meeting snooze in 5 mins notification.

 

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