Ekado vinanu oka pralayam ooriki vasthe ah ooru thalakindhulu authadhani adhe ah pralayam oka manasuki vasthe? Na manasuki vachindhi oka samvastram mundhu adhi nka poledhu. I’m basically an introvert. Nen chinapati nunchi abhayilatho matladindhi ledhu. Like totally zero. Natho kuda evaru matladevallu kadhu. Na 4 years b.tech kuda Anthe. Kani 4 yr lo vache project na jeevitham lo oka pralayam shrustisthundhani apudu nak thelidhu. He was my project partner.
Nak thelikunda modhati sari oka abhai tho matladali anukuna. Maku 4 yr lo parichayam ayindhi even though we were in same class.college aypoyaka we used to chat. Na life lo oka abhai tho ala matladatam modhati and akari sari. Nen general ga feel avanu I mean I don’t get attached to people nor I talk more. Na friends kuda chala thakuva mandhi. But nen emotional ga chala attach autha. Valla chinna badha kuda nannu effect chesthundhi.valla anandam nak santhoshani isthundhi. Apativaraku adhi ammailathone(na friends only girls kabbati). First time ala oka abahiki attach aya.I know I was doing wrong and Thana behavior lo China change ayina nen suffer authanu. But I was helpless. He proposed. I took time because nen okay cheppi tharwatha ye issue valla ayina nen ah relationship ni cut cheyali ante I don’t want to hurt him and I can’t see him get hurt. But I had to give in. Nen ma family ki kuda cheppali annantha confidence nak vachaka I proposed(because he’s another religion and my family has huge religion and caste feelings). Nen enthala istapadanante nek ne happiness kavala thana happiness kavala ante thanadhe ane antha.Na nidra , na feelings yedhi nak important kadhu I just wanted him to be happy. First time family ki abadham cheppi thanani meet avataniki vella. And nen matladalekapoya. Inthakumundhu clg lo matladina esari na voice ravatla heart rate Entha undho ardamkala. Thana presence thapa nakemi theliala. Ah roju yepatiki gurthuntundhi. Idhantha movies lo chusi navvukunedhani but nak jarigindhi.
Thanu elopala higher studies ki vere city veladu. Akkada he met someone which changed everything. Nen lekunda undalenu anadu. Thana life lo best person anadu.ninnu mundhe ndhuk kalavala na life lo anadu. Ivvani thanu anadani nen istapadaledhu. Thana nature ki istapadanu thanani Thana la istapadanu. I accepted his flaws even though some of them hurts me.Na istaniki reason adigevadu na daggara reason ledhu ndhukante oka reason ki manam istapadithe ah reason ah manishilo kanapadanapudu ah istam pothundhi kani manam unconditional ga chesinapudu istam yepatiki podhu. Adhe nen chesindhi. Andhuke ila suffer authunanu.Anni relations lane we had small problem thana late reply ki nak kopam vachedhi( because i wanted to talk to him as much as possible and that’s the only means of communication we had)and adhi thanaki nachedhi kadhu kani adhi relation ye vadhu anukune antha peddadha?thanu Anna matalu anni emaipoyayo thelidhu.Natho matladanu anadu. After months of questioning he said he likes that girl. Situation batti maripoyedhi istam ela authundhi?Na manasuki vachina ah pralayam yepatiki podhu.
I thought I can forget him. I tried my level best. Na job training apudu I had my best days. Antha anandam lo thanu natho ledu Anna sadness nannu okaroju kuda vadhalala. Thana oka message kosam prathiroju edhuruchusedhani. Ela unnav? Ah okka message kosam. Kani that never happened. Nen enni sarlu beg chesano enni sarlu edchano I don’t even remember. Thana happiness ah amayi ayithe I said I’ll accept and asked him to talk to me. He said he don’t want to. I want him happy but I don’t want to lose him.But then I realised that I was just watering a dead plant. And suffering for a crime which I never committed.
I was in depression. Nen random ga edchedhanni. Nen work chese chota,road medha,busstand ekada unanu anedhi kuda thedalekunda. Kani intlo unapudu Amma chala sarlu adigaru emaindhi ani na dagara answer ledhu. Chala sarlu chepdam anukuna but I just couldn’t. Vallaki na medha unna nammakanni nen misuse chesanemo anipisthundhi. Ah tharwatha i got proposal from boys but it just died in me. Nen nka evariki attach avalekapothuna even though I tried my best. Nen ipatiki thanane istapaduthunanu…..yepatiki istapadathanu kani dooram nunchi.konthamandhi Nak pichi ani antaru nen anedhaniki but it’s what it is.
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