A Heartfelt Letter To All My ‘Firsts’

 

Contributed by Alekya Gampa

Mana life lo konni recaps eskunte chaala fast ga gurthu oche konni moments mana
andariki untayi. Daantlo emunna undakapoyna, mana first experiences gurthu osthayi, gurthu undipothayi. Cliche yet true. Ippudu first anagane meeru anukone first gurunchi kaadu nenu kaadu matladedi, ofcourse adi meeku important e kavachu, but that’s still like “Acche Din” to me! Mari recap loki velthey..

 

My dear first prize,

I remember holding you proudly when I got you for participating in a “Race” at the
age I didn’t know what race really meant. I still remember how many times I have
woken up from my sleep to come look at you in the middle of night just to see you
and you made me a “HERO” just like that. I still remember how happy I was about
you, without posting it on social media. I still look at you and smile and I wish I could get some hundreds of such prizes now for participating in a real race to not make myself “ZERO”


 

My dear first rejection/failure,

I wish I could embarrass myself less by telling not to cry, causing myself anxiety
attacks because of you. Because you might be the first one but you are definitely not the last one. Now, to realize, you cause the lesser pain than anything in my life. I am forever thankful to you for introducing me to the harsh reality of life. Life could have been less shitty without you but does it have a purpose without you?


 

My dear first salary,

The minute you came into my bank life, I felt the same way my seven years old felt
like holding a prize but the only difference is you were vanishing whenever I check you. Before you were there, I was broke, dependent and whatnot. But then after, I am broke but independent. I wanna thank you for making me realize my worth but I didn’t wanna sound cheap. Geddit?


 

My dear first period,

When I clearly didn’t know what was happening to me, people around me started
celebrating and prevented me to do things. Little did they know, real celebration is letting me do things in spite of having you. People told me you were a big deal, but you are just a change happened to my body and no you can’t make me stop doing anything even eating chocolate and more chocolate and getting cranky for no reason.


My dear first person who I was emotionally attached to,

I desperately wish you could read this. I wish I could refrain myself from over-
thinking so much on putting a label to our relation. I don’t know whether to laugh at the fact that I thought you were my first and last or feel sad that ‘We’ didn’t last. Though you are not there to lean my head on your shoulder anymore, you will be always there in my head.

 

My dear first heartbreak,

Thanks for not confining yourself to love or not getting a job or losing one of my
favourite persons from my life. Sometimes, you were there out of nowhere and
because of the last reason I would expect you to have. But you were there seeing me fall apart and making me feel not worthy enough. But I wish I could smile back at you now because I survived you. You are something but not everything.


 

So.. What’s your first & most memorable incident that you strongly remember?

 

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